The Confused Chocolate Eater: The Aftermath Part 2

Friday, October 22, 2004

The Aftermath Part 2

When I hear the word massage, the first thing that comes into my mind will be an hour of muscle crushing, silent screaming, pillow punching, so and so. Short way of saying it, physical and mental torture!
Yesterday, Cik Hasnah came to my house at 8 a.m. sharp. My maid burst into my room and started screaming at me due to my messy room which she just cleaned the day before. I shot up from bed as if the building was on fire and looked at my maid.

“Huh? What?”
“Itu Senah dah datang! Pegi basuh muka!”
“Senah? Oh Cik Hasnah!”

I quickly went to the toilet to brush my teeth and wash my face then the moment I got out, there she was, Cik Hasnah, with the evil smile on her face. In my mind I was like ‘Shit…this is not good..’ She asked me to take a mat and lie on it faced down. I did what she says and prayed to God it won’t be bad.
She started off with my legs. The moment she laid those big oily hands of hers on it I clutched my knuckles so tight until it went white! Then she went up to my back. Holy Chicken Shit! It was hell! She started saying “Oh your veins have gone into your bones, that is why it’s been hurting,” and I’m like “Wha?” How’s that possible? She kept pressing and pressing my back. The more ugly faces I make the more she presses on the same spot. Aduh!
The worst part was when she massaged my hands. I hated that one like mad. She massaged it so hard, I’m having bruises all over my hands now. Every 20 seconds I’ll be asking her “Is it over?” and she’ll answer the typical answer “Sikit lagi,”
Funny thing was when she said to me “This is not urut tau. This is a therapy,” A therapy? What kind of a bluddy therapy is this? A therapy supposed to be soothing and strictly no pain! Therapy my arse!
She told me to eat 10 pills of Vitamin C’s per day. 10. That’ll be 300++ per month. Worse, she said she’ll come back next week. And the week after that. And the week after that. Somebody help me….